Thursday, August 13, 2009

No Cash for My Clunker.

Everyone knowadays is talking about the Car Allowance Rebate System, commonly known as the 'cash for clunkers' program. Some people love it, some people hate it, and some people like my grandpa just got a brand new Toyota Corolla for around $500 using the program, combined with other deals. For those that know me, you know I definitely have a clunker... it's a 1994 Buick Regal Custom, and it sucks. It's so much of a "clunker" that my family's long time mechanic recently told me that it would last another month or two at best.

Still, despite the fact that every time I turn the car on I'm afraid that I'm going to explode like that woman in The Godfather, the "CARS" program doesn't consider my old Buick a clunker. To check out if your car is a clunker, click here.

When I found out my car wasn't a clunker, I immediately decided to blame our president, Barack Obama... I mean seriously, who else's fault could it be? I mean, researching an issue before taking a side and assigning blame would be unAmerican right? Don't get me wrong, I love the guy... I worked for him in four different states, got to shake his hand after the South Carolina primary, cried during his inauguration... the whole deal. Still though, I've been working a lot lately, and haven't been watching the news nearly as much as I would like. This whole "cash for clunkers" issue really made me start to reflect on what else my beloved hero was up to that I didn't support. To be honest, I need to catch up on the real issues, but here's a few others things so far that I don't like about Barack Obama:

1) Obama's Choice of Beer w/ Skip Gates

This was a huge political blunder. If you're going to host the most famous White House happy hour in history, at least have some good brews. Instead, President Obama decided to drink Budweiser (unspecified whether it was Light, Heavy, or Ice)... WOW! Does Obama think he's a frat boy the first semester of freshman year? Get some class... perhaps a nice Red Hook or Smuttynose from the great state of New Hampshire would have served much better. And of course, if he did have to go for the cheap stuff, Obama could have at least followed in the footsteps of a great American like Walt Kowalski and had a PBR.

2) Minor Issue with the Stimulus Package
Great program I think, at least as much as I can tell so far. There is one issue though... for a guy who's job depends on driving all over New England, it's kinda a pain that every road in New England is getting paved at once. Furthermore, not only are some interstates being repaved, but some are being widened. One late night while driving up I-495 on my way home to New Hampshire, I saw like twenty big construction vehicles ripping trees out of the ground... talk about a shovel ready project. Seems like good human progress or something right? There were a whole lot of trees being killed though, so I was afraid the Lorax might pop out of somewhere and start 'speakin for the trees.' It was late, and I wanted to get home, so I was moving pretty fast in my "clunker." I like the Lorax a lot... it's one of my favorite books. If Barack Obama's stimulus package had resulted in me running over the Lorax while he was "speakin for the trees" on I-495, I would have been pretty upset.

3) Barack Obama WOULD NEVER DO THIS (which is really funny):

Frankly friends, that's all I could think of. I still love Barack Obama, despite the fact there will be no cash for my clunker.

God's peace,

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